One of Those Days...

There are many times I just want to give up. Let go. Give in to my insecurities.

I've been an several relationships, but I don't think I've ever truly been loved. I've been in a horrible, mind-controling relationship that lasted 3 years and just simply ended one day. No reason. No second thought. Just poof - bye and gone forever. I've also been in an overly "loving" relationship that was amazing in every way that lasted 4 months and ended one day. No reason. No second though. Just poof - bye.

So, where does this leave me? Am I supposed to think that someone will "love" me and not just up and leave? I try to play the independent, confident man that doesn't need anyone except his friends and his family, but then I come home to this empty house. All alone and can feel the void. The giant gaping hole where what I thought was love once filled.

Yes, I am fulfilled with God and His love, but what's missing? Why do I get so low? So incredibly low? I'll never share this with anyone that really knows me, but I just want a family of my own. A wife, maybe some kids (obviously not biologically mine but that's more than ok with me), a life - together. I want to have that connection. That closeness.

But it is what it is. I need to be content and grateful with what I'm given. I just wish my life didn't feel so incomplete. I have great friends, family, career, home, vehicle, most importantly God, so what's my problem?!?

Just needed to vent.

Thanks for listening (reading...)

Have a peaceful night.
Anonymous Joe