This may only reach one or maybe a few, but if my experience can help someone out there feel better about this life, these experiences, all our struggles and the purpose we're put here to promote, then it was worth the time to put this out there.
My story is complex to outsiders, yet very simple to me at times. I'm open to questions and comments of varying degree in regards to understanding, personal struggle or just plain curiosity. What do I get out of sharing my story...
connection
In this big ol'world, it's easy to feel alone. I have many friends, close friends at that, but very few know my story - my complete story.
So...where to begin...
I am a fully transitioned female-to-male transgendered man. Of course, I'm sure most of you are immediately curious about the physical part of it, and that's typical. That's fine, but I'm hoping to share something deeper than that as well. My mind has always been 100% male, in every way. My thoughts, morals and ideals tend to be more traditional with how I think a man should be, which roles he should take on - provider, care taker, leader, father... which very much contradicts with my entire existence, especially since I have accepted the fact that I will more than likely never have a family of my own.
I have, naturally, questioned my purpose, my existence, and it always comes back to this - God made me this way for a reason! I have to stay positive and stand tall knowing that God has a plan for me. My struggles exist for a reason. My story can be shared. My experiences, my struggles with religion and Christianity, my incredible lows and my amazing highs. It may not be a pretty conversation at times, and I may confuse people, but it is what it is! I know God loves me, and I do my best to learn and understand His message.
I've been in some extremely rough situations that were at times abusive, but EVERYTHING happens for a reason! People come and go - those who stay are your strength, your personal angels God has placed in your life. Those who go, for whatever reason, are no longer needed. Their purpose has been served in your life as well as yours in theirs. This took me a long time to accept, especially when I feel as completely alone as I have at times.
Feel free to ask questions, respond with comments or just leave whatever you feel you need to share.
I'll continue to post based on questions I've received throughout the years and hope that eventually someone will stumble across this and won't feel alone anymore. This life is too short to worry or fear or feel sorrow.
...maybe I need to take my own advice...
Enjoy this day!
Anonymous Joe
Anonymous Joe
