One Perspective on Why Bad Things Happen to Good People

So, why do bad things happen to good people?

This question is commonly asked by the general public all the time! Depending on how receptive the person asking can be, this can be an incredibly difficult question to answer. 

Here's one perspective:

Only you can control how you react to any situation that comes your way. People need to be challenged mentally, physically and spiritually. If we were never provided with opportunities to grow, we would all be sitting around staring at each other for absolutely no reason. Instead of thinking of it as 'good people,' I prefer to think of it as 'strong people.' Strong people are able to see past the obstacles in front of them. They know in their hearts that they are protected and taken care of - that God will lead the way. 

Because of this, they are strong enough to not only handle the situation but learn from the event and grow in the direction they were designed to in order to impact another brother or sister of God. Strong people are still human, so of course, there are plenty of questioning and misunderstanding. However, in the long run, going through the HEAVY situations we find ourselves in should remind us of God's love every second of every day! 

Take pride in knowing that God is preparing you for GREATNESS!! Take your experience and help others that find themselves in a similar struggle. Help them grow to become believers through your words, your actions and your beliefs. Even if they are not going through what you did/are, your ability to stand tall and not drown yourself in sorrow may inspire someone else to do the same. 

 Your behavior may be the inspiration someone else needs just to get through the day.
-Anonymous Joe

What Does It Mean to be a Man?

This whole concept of manliness has challenged me many times throughout my life - sometimes in a good way and others...well, not so much.

However, this is where I currently stand on the whole thing, and again, this is just my perspective... I would be grateful to hear yours if you have time to share.

Physical attributes play a minor role in defining a man. Yes, it feels natural and fitting now that I have one, but it's not all about my junk. What defines me as a man is my ability to be respectful, responsible, understanding, just, empathetic, sympathetic and purposeful. My actions have meaning and my words are chosen to lift up those around me. This world may challenge my existence and attempt to belittle me by saying things that I used to believe in regards to me not being good enough or man enough or being less than human, ungodly... But it never made sense... Why do I exist if I was meant to drown in my own self-loathing? What a waste of this life and God's gift to me. What a pointless way to live. So, I studied, observed and mimicked those that I respected, those that exhibited the characteristics of what kind of man I wanted to be. I wanted to be a true gentleman to the best of my ability.

No matter how much I tried though, nothing seemed to diminish the lingering negativity.

Until I let God take over

The closer I get to God, the taller I stand, the stronger I feel, the more confident in myself I become. God controls this life, not me, and I will do my best to be the man He needs me to be. I'll continue to study and observe, but my prospective has changed. My vision has changed. My heart is open and accepting to God now rather than simply to human.

All is well and all is good! I can't wait to see what God has in store for me.

Have a good weekend!

Anonymous Joe

Recent Questions

With every post, I will attempt to answer questions that were presented to me as well as share some thoughts I've had recently.

Question 1: When did you start? Have you had surgery?

If you're wondering about the physical part of this process, there are very specific standards of care (that you can read in several different languages here) that each individual must follow to have things done safely and properly. This required me to see a therapist for several months before I was even allowed a doctor's appointment for testosterone. My first hormone injection was in August 2005. It immediately changed my life. I had top surgery and a full phalloplasty over the course of just under 10 years due to financial constraints. This stuff is EXPENSIVE!

Question 2: Do you have trouble coming out to people that are close to you?

Yes and no....
There are enough people in my life that know my background that I feel comfortable with leaving it where it currently is. I have never had anyone confront me or say anything rude to my face about my situation, but I am extremely particular about who I tell. Now that I am so far into the process, I can be even more strategic in who knows what. The whole point of my transition is for me to be complete. A whole being. A man in all ways. If there's no logical reason for someone  to know, then they don't. It's as simple as that. However, when I do decide to let someone in, it is nerve-wrecking. Once that person knows though, I'm comfortable answering questions and easing previous misconceptions.

**Relationships and dating... 'nother story for a whole 'nother time... **

I was provided with a short message about how great it was to hear about transgender situations and God in one message, and it solidified my reasoning for sharing this information. As I go through all the crazy emotions that comes with transitioning, I have to constantly remind myself that my struggles were not an accident. My pain, grief, misunderstanding, self-loathing and frustration was designed specifically for me! My perspective on these moments though is what makes it different. I could easily be knocked down, forever trapped in my own negativity. However, every single moment was placed on my path to build me up, give me strength and gain a deeper relationship with God. I have not been forgotten. I am not alone. God will provide!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Goodnight! I wish you well.
-Anonymous Joe

A Sneak Peek at Who I Am

This may only reach one or maybe a few, but if my experience can help someone out there feel better about this life, these experiences, all our struggles and the purpose we're put here to promote, then it was worth the time to put this out there.

My story is complex to outsiders, yet very simple to me at times. I'm open to questions and comments of varying degree in regards to understanding, personal struggle or just plain curiosity. What do I get out of sharing my story...

connection

In this big ol'world, it's easy to feel alone. I have many friends, close friends at that, but very few know my story - my complete story.

So...where to begin...

I am a fully transitioned female-to-male transgendered man. Of course, I'm sure most of you are immediately curious about the physical part of it, and that's typical. That's fine, but I'm hoping to share something deeper than that as well. My mind has always been 100% male, in every way. My thoughts, morals and ideals tend to be more traditional with how I think a man should be, which roles he should take on - provider, care taker, leader, father... which very much contradicts with my entire existence, especially since I have accepted the fact that I will more than likely never have a family of my own.

I have, naturally, questioned my purpose, my existence, and it always comes back to this - God made me this way for a reason! I have to stay positive and stand tall knowing that God has a plan for me. My struggles exist for a reason. My story can be shared. My experiences, my struggles with religion and Christianity, my incredible lows and my amazing highs. It may not be a pretty conversation at times, and I may confuse people, but it is what it is! I know God loves me, and I do my best to learn and understand His message.

I've been in some extremely rough situations that were at times abusive, but EVERYTHING happens for a reason! People come and go - those who stay are your strength, your personal angels God has placed in your life. Those who go, for whatever reason, are no longer needed. Their purpose has been served in your life as well as yours in theirs. This took me a long time to accept, especially when I feel as completely alone as I have at times.

Feel free to ask questions, respond with comments or just leave whatever you feel you need to share.

I'll continue to post based on questions I've received throughout the years and hope that eventually someone will stumble across this and won't feel alone anymore. This life is too short to worry or fear or feel sorrow.

...maybe I need to take my own advice...

Enjoy this day!
Anonymous Joe