Shortly after I began hormone therapy in 2005, I went through the county court system to have my name changed. If I remember correctly, it was about $250 and was a very quick process. I have heard that in larger cities/counties getting a court date for a name change could take months, so I was incredibly grateful that this was not my situation at the time. My court date was about a week after I paid the legal fees, and it was the most intense three minutes of my life! In front of a room full of people waiting for their turn in front of the judge, I had to stand and present my case. The judge asked me why I wanted to change my name and why I chose the name I was applying for. She signed my paperwork, stamped a couple things and that was it! Done and done.
The problem came about a year later...
I worked for a government agency and was asked to complete all my paperwork on actual paper when I applied. Ok, no problem. A few months later, they were updating their employee database and everyone had to complete what was basically an employment application through this new system. The sex question came up, and I filled the little circle next to M but had a feeling I needed to ask the HR lady that was in the other room about my answer to this question.
Here's what happened...
When I got my new driver's license in the mail from changing my name, the lady at the DMV must have changed my sex also! I was complete stoked about this when I saw it, so I never questioned it.
When I explained it to the lady, she froze in place. She told me to just use the explanation box on the screen (every screen had this) to put one short sentence about my situation. She assured me that she would figure out what to do and everything would be ok. So, I did what she said and never thought about it again.
Until I got a call from the legal office and was asked to attend a meeting with a couple lawyers. They gave me zero details about the meeting, just to be there. Remember, I worked for a government agency, so I was a bit intimidated by everything.
They basically gave me one month to get my birth certificate changed from Female to Male before they had to fire and possibly arrest me for fraud AND they had a panel of people (including my supervisor that did not know about me before this) to discuss how to deal with 'the restroom situation' The conclusion of that meeting presented me with two choices: tell everyone in my building and I can only use the restroom during assigned times that everyone agreed to or they could bring in an porta potty to put outside for me to use whenever I needed to and not have to tell anyone.
**I wish I was making this up**
At this point in my transition, absolutely no one knew I was transgender unless I told them. Hell, I even had a beard!
So, THANK GOD I wasn't born in the state I live in. I called the state's Department of Human Records (I think that's what it was called) and asked them what the procedures were to changing the gender marker on my birth certificate. I needed a notarized application, a signed letter from my surgeon saying that I had gender reassignment surgery and a whopping $20 for the processing fee on the paperwork. I contacted my surgeon for my top surgery and told him my situation, and he wrote a letter that far exceeded the requirements of the application as well as signing it with his full credentials and contact information! It was the best feeling when I received that letter! I submitted all my paperwork and not long later (it was longer than a month to do all this, but they extended the timeframe because I was making legitimate progress) I received an original copy of my birth certificate, with every bit of correct information on it. I made like 20 copies of it and gave it to everyone! I even mailed a copy to both of my parents.
One of the lawyers pulled me aside after a debriefing and told me that the document I just submitted gives me the power to be whoever I want to be. No one, ever again, has to know anything I don't want them to. Ever. Not only in my personal life but now in my professional life as well. He apologized for the entire process, but I was incredibly grateful for it because it forced me to do something that I previously dismissed as impossible.
Oh, and if you're wondering about the restroom situation, one of the buildings near the one I worked in had individual restrooms rather than one with several stalls and urinals. To make it easier and more comfortable to everyone (including me), I suggested that I just walk over there anytime I needed to go. I know it shouldn't have been that way, but the walk was a nice break from the office.
Difficult situations suck!! BUT there is always a reason for everything.
Hope everyone is doing well.
-Anonymous Joe
